The Buddha said that: ‘You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.’
We are so good at being kind to others, doing good deeds and looking out for our friends and family, but we all struggle with showing love and compassion to ourselves. Try these 10 ways to show yourself some love.
1. Stop focusing on what you can’t do and start focusing on what you can do. Changing the direction of your attention in this way will certainly uplift your spirits.
2. Buy yourself a beautiful bunch of flowers, some delicious fruit, your favourite magazine… just because you deserve a treat.
3. Don’t worry about what people think – unsurprisingly, everyone else is pretty much taken up with themselves and is unlikely to be judging you.
4. Count your blessings. Michael McCullough, a psychology professor at the University of Miami says that, ‘Grateful people are happier, more optimistic, more satisfied with their lives …’
5. Smile and spread those good vibrations. Yes, you can do this, and when you do you will attract new, positive, life affirming energy.
6. Do something you love: take a walk in the park, curl up with a new novel, meet up with a friend, go for a swim …
7. Talk nicely to yourself. Let your self-talk be encouraging and helpful. Abandon self-criticism for a day and see what a difference this makes to your mood.
8. Stop striving to be permanently confident. This is probably the most effective tip in the book. You will never stay unaffected by life’s ups and downs but know that you can always bounce back.
9. Give yourself time to make decisions, you don’t have to react immediately to the suggestions of others.
10. Be yourself. This means letting yourself be who you are and not who you think you ‘should’ be.
Use your growing self-awareness to help you observe any unkind thoughts you have about yourself; any feelings of self-criticism that may arise, and any hurtful behaviours that you might inflict upon yourself. And when you notice any unhelpful patterns try not to berate yourself even more, but adopt the self-kindness habit instead. Simply ask yourself this question, ‘How could I be kinder to myself right now?’ and then follow your own good advice.
From the bestselling author of 60 Ways to Feel Amazing and Weekend Life Coach, here’s a fresh new take on how to increase your confidence in every area of your life –The Self-Esteem Coach is the complete DIY feel-good guide for the 21st century. Follow Jo on her inspiring website lyndafield.com.
“10 days to a confident new you”
256 pages • Paperback • £8.99
AUS $17.99 NZ $23.00